September 4th marked a significant milestone for me and my forever husband: our 31st wedding anniversary. Including our three-year engagement, we have spent over 34 years together. Our journey began with a commitment to each other and a shared desire to live our lives for the glory of God. This has meant choosing holiness, and as I reflect on this journey, my heart is filled with thanksgiving.
First, let me clarify that holiness is not a “better than” mindset. It’s a conscious decision to confess our sins whenever we fall short and to embrace the truth that Jesus’ sacrifice was for our redemption. This understanding of holiness means experiencing forgiveness and being in right standing with God. Because Christ lived a holy life, his followers are privileged to be made righteous through him. When I say we chose to live holy lives, I don’t mean we aimed for perfection; rather, we sought to be cleansed from guilt and shame by daily turning toward God and repenting, individually and as a couple.
Looking back, I believe this decision laid a strong foundation for our relationship. It helped us avoid many potential pitfalls and allowed us to focus on nurturing our bond through service in ministry. We were both active in our church during our courtship and early years of marriage, not out of obligation, but as an expression of our gratitude. My husband served in various ways—from cooking to setting up chairs to cleaning the church bathrooms—while I taught new members and offered legal assistance. We attended early Saturday morning prayer meetings, committed to building a sense of community through service, prayer, and giving. We genuinely enjoyed our lives sold out to God – and we STILL DO!
Marriage can be challenging enough, and I couldn’t imagine navigating it without the ability to pray and worship together. For us, unity stems from our shared faith in Jesus as the Lord of our lives, which naturally extends to our marriage. During difficult times, we find refuge in our community of fellow believers who pray for us and provide counsel when needed. In turn, we’ve supported other couples facing their own marital challenges.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is the importance of contentment. In a world full of comparisons, finding peace in marriage can be difficult. The Bible offers timeless wisdom:
Godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So, if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. (1 Timothy 6:6-9 NLT)
If I could reclaim the time spent comparing my marriage to others and desiring more wealth, it would be invaluable. Why do we compare? Often, the grass seems greener on the other side, filled with desires for money, status, or that “perfect” partner. I have found myself wondering, “How long will I suffer before reaching that place?” But here’s the truth: “that place” doesn’t exist. As a good friend once said, “Wherever you go, there you are.” The greatest achievements often fail to provide lasting satisfaction because every earthly thing is temporary and subject to change.
As St. Augustine said:
For you made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.
Finding spiritual rest from comparisons and earthly desires is a key to contentment. I am grateful for my marriage, but I cannot take credit for it, ultimately, it reflects God’s faithfulness toward two people from humble beginnings who had no idea how to build a godly marriage. We have matured and learned how to overcome life’s challenges together. As we celebrate our years together, I’m reminded that our journey is about a greater story—one of grace, forgiveness, commitment, deep-rooted faith, and a heart for serving others that continues to shape us.
In the end, our marriage is bigger than the love between us; it’s about the love that God extends to us, sustaining and nurturing our bond every step of the way. My testimony is that whatever is given to God, he will be faithful to keep. As we embarked upon the unknown, we entrusted our marriage to the one who knows the future. The scripture on our wedding program perfectly expressed this inner desire:
“And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: And establish thou the work of our hands upon us: Yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.” (Psalm 90:17 KJV)
My prayer for every married person and for those with marriages to come is that the Lord our God will show his faithfulness and make your efforts successful as you dedicate your lives and marriages to him.
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